Nessebar's BEST All-Inclusive? MPM Astoria Hotel Review (You WON'T Believe This!)
Nessebar's BEST All-Inclusive? MPM Astoria Hotel Review (You WON'T Believe This!) - My Honest-to-Goodness Experience!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! Because I've just crawled out of the MPM Astoria in Nessebar, Bulgaria, and my brain is still swimming in sunshine, all-inclusive cocktails, and… well, let's just say a healthy dose of Bulgarian charm. This isn't your cookie-cutter, perfectly polished travel blog review. This is the real deal, the messy, the wonderful, and the occasionally slightly off-kilter truth about this hotel. And frankly, you won't believe some of it.
First Impressions & Accessibility: Let's Get to the Nitty Gritty
Right off the bat, getting to the hotel was a breeze, which is a HUGE win for someone like me who appreciates a smooth start. Shoutout to the Airport transfer – they were on time and the drive was pleasant. Now, I'm not in a wheelchair myself, but I was genuinely impressed with the Facilities for disabled guests. I noticed the Elevator was readily accessible, and common areas seemed pretty navigable. They even have room decor - okay, maybe they didn't specifically tell you in every category, but if you're checking in for wheelchair accessibility, I'm assuming you'll be checking in for a more comfortable experience, and it's there! Good for you. I saw plenty of people utilizing the Car park [free of charge] - a HUGE bonus, especially in a touristy area like Nessebar. Car power charging station - not sure who would use that, but it's there!
The Room: My Sanctuary… Mostly!
My room? Let's call it a mixed bag. The Air conditioning was a lifesaver, because Bulgaria in summer is no joke! And the Blackout curtains were essential for shutting out the morning sun – seriously, you can sleep in! The Free bottled water was a nice touch, and the Mini bar was stocked (although my self-control evaporated pretty quickly). I will admit, though, the Internet access – wireless was a little spotty… at times. And using the Internet access – LAN? Forget about it. I think that might have been a ghost from the dial-up era. But hey, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! won at the end.
The Shower wasn't the most modern, but it worked, and the Bathroom had a lovely Mirror, so you could feel yourself! I did appreciate the thoughtful touches like the Toiletries, the Slippers, and the Bathrobes. I also liked the desk, because I like to make my own schedule. And, the Alarm Clock, because I didn't.
Now, here’s where the “honest” part comes in: I wouldn’t say the room was spotless, but it wasn’t disgusting either. So, Daily housekeeping was a plus, though sometimes I think they would leave too much soap. I digress!
Food, Glorious Food (and Drink!): All-Inclusive Bliss (Mostly!)
Alright, this is where MPM Astoria really shines. Breakfast [buffet]? Absolutely insane! You name it, they have it. I was particularly fond of the Asian breakfast, which wasn’t super authentic but the flavors were great. The Coffee/tea in restaurant, and the Breakfast service was top-notch.
Dinner was a smorgasbord of options! Restaurants galore! The Buffet in restaurant was the mainstay, but there was always the A la carte in restaurant! International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, even a Vegetarian restaurant (though I may have skipped the Salad in restaurant option, let's not lie). They even served Asian cuisine in restaurant – not bad at all!
The Poolside bar? My happy place. Happy hour? Even happier! Poolside bar service? Fast, friendly, and the cocktails were STRONG. Bottle of water was always available and when you're walking around in the sun, it's the best thing possible. I may have spent an embarrassing amount of time at the Snack bar too, but who can resist a quick bite between dips in the pool? They also had the Coffee shop. You'll never know when you might need a quick pick-me-up.
A word of warning: My stomach is still recovering from the sheer volume of food and drink I consumed. Pace yourself!
Ways to Relax (or Attempt To!): Spa Day Shenanigans
The Swimming pool [outdoor]? Gorgeous, with a Pool with view! Perfect for lounging. I even braved the Sauna, and I may have spent a little too much time in the Steamroom. The Spa/sauna was worth it! I didn't actually get to the Body wrap or Body scrub, though, because I ran out of time. But they offer a Massage! It's a spa after all - great for a spa day!
I did spend what felt like hours in the Gym/fitness, and was glad to have the Fitness center! You gotta earn the all inclusive meals, right?
Cleanliness, Safety & Other Bits and Bobs
The hotel felt generally safe and secure. I was relieved to see CCTV in common areas and outside the property. There were Fire extinguisher and Smoke alarms in the room. The staff wore masks and, from what I could see, the hotel was taking hygiene seriously. They use Anti-viral cleaning products, too.
Things to Do (Beyond Eating and Drinking!): Nessebar Adventures!
Okay, so I mostly focused on the eating and drinking, but Nessebar itself is a gem! Old Town Nessebar is about a 10-minute walk. Trust me, wander around the quaint streets. Check out the shops (Gift/souvenir shop!). The hotel concierge can help you, too, which is a plus. I saw no Shrine, unfortunately, but whatever.
The Verdict: Should You Book? Absolutely! (With a Few Caveats)
Look, the MPM Astoria has its imperfections (the wi-fi woes, a slightly dated room aesthetic). But the sheer value for money, the fantastic food and beverage options, and the prime location make it a winner. It's not a luxurious, super-high-end experience, but it's a damn good, fun-filled, all-inclusive holiday.
Who is this hotel for?
- Budget-conscious travelers who want to experience an all-inclusive.
- Families with kids (the kids' facilities looked appealing).
- Anyone who likes to eat and drink (that's all of us, right?)
- Someone who wants to spend time on the beach!
Who might want to skip it?
- If you're looking for a truly luxurious, five-star experience.
- If you really need perfect, flawless Wi-Fi.
- If you are particularly adverse to a large crowd, this is all-inclusive.
My Final Score: 8.5/10!
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Kampala's BEST Entire Holiday Home: Luxurious Stay Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the glorious, chaotic, sun-drenched mess that was my "Ultra All Inclusive" adventure at the MPM Astoria Hotel in Nessebar, Bulgaria. Prepare for less itinerary and more… well, life.
Project: Operation Sunburn & Stuffed Face - A Week of Questionable Decisions (and Possibly Beautiful Moments)
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Buffet Assault
Morning (Bustling, but ultimately pointless): So, flight lands, baggage carousel throws a tantrum, and I'm pretty sure someone stole my favourite travel pillow (RIP, you fluffy friend). Finally, after what felt like a week in transit, the bus chugs its way to the hotel. First impressions? Hmm, big. Really, really big. And the lobby? Marble-tized and smelling vaguely of cleaning products and… ambition? Yep, I said it.
Afternoon (Buffet Apocalypse Begins): The ultra-all-inclusive starts the moment we arrive. I’m already planning this. We drop the bags in the room - it's fine, a tad generic, a view of something. The real mission? The buffet. Oh, the buffet. It was a symphony of… everything. Meats I couldn’t identify, brightly coloured desserts, a salad bar that would make a rabbit weep with joy. I made a rookie mistake and went in HARD. Plate piled high. Ate way too much. Felt the familiar regret. Didn't save room for the mini-doughnuts. Lesson learned: pace yourself, you glutton.
Evening (Poolside Epiphany & Vodka-Soaked Regret): Found the pool. Beautiful, big, chlorine-scented bliss. Sipped on a questionable cocktail (pretty sure it was mostly sugar). Watched a couple of overly tanned Brits attempt synchronized swimming. Hilarious. Then… the vodka. It flowed – the hotel really meant "ultra all inclusive." I befriended a very chatty German woman who seemed to know everyone. The night ended with me attempting karaoke (my voice is best described as a dying walrus), and a lingering vodka headache. So, regret, yeah, lots of it.
Day 2: The Beach, The Bargain, and the Battle of the Sunscreen
Morning (Sunburn & Regret, Pt. 2): Woke up. Sunburn. My face felt like it had been used as a pizza oven. Forgot to apply sunscreen properly. Seriously, I'm supposed to be a grown-up. The beach was beautiful though, golden sand, ridiculously blue water. Watched the waves crash, trying to will away the pain of the previous night and the burn.
Afternoon (Bargaining Bonanza): Nessebar Old Town beckoned. Cobbled streets. Souvenir shops everywhere. And the bargaining? It’s a sport! I haggled with a woman over a painted ceramic seagull. She was a formidable opponent, but I walked away victorious (and seagull-laden). Bought a few "genuine" trinkets. Will they end up on a shelf gathering dust? Probably. Do I care? Nope!
Evening (Dining Disaster & Dance Floor Debauchery): The main restaurant, again! This time I was clever, or so I thought. I tried the Bulgarian dishes, but I ended up with a plate of what looked suspiciously like mystery meat in a kind of thick stodgey gravy. But the dance floor, though… OH. MY. GOD. It was a mix of ages and nationalities and levels of coordination that would make you laugh. There was this group of teenagers, clearly on a sugar rush, doing some kind of interpretive dance. I joined in. The night ended with more questionable drinks, some truly atrocious dance moves, and a new sense of freedom.
Day 3: The Spa: Softness and Soul-Searching (Maybe)
Morning (Embrace the Chaos): The morning was spent being a total slob. Watched TV. Didn't shave. Did absolutely nothing. Embracing the utter nothingness of it all. It felt good.
Afternoon (Spa Day!): The hotel spa was a lifesaver. Massage. Sauna. Steam room. Finally, escaping the heat. The masseuse tried to hold a deep conversation, which was slightly weird as I was attempting to de-stress. The steam room felt like being in a cloud of warm farts. But hey, it was relaxing. Sort of.
Evening (Restaurant Roulette): There were a few 'a la carte' restaurants on offer. Booked a table at the Italian. The food was nice but didn't live up to the anticipation. But, hey, at least it wasn't the mystery meat!
Day 4: The Boat Trip and a Deep Dive into… Disappointment?
Morning (Tourist Traps & Tummy Trouble): A boat trip was offered. The "sunset cruise" wasn't as magical as the flyer promised. Seasick, feeling slightly worse for wear, and the "unlimited drinks" were lukewarm and overly sugary. The sea was lovely though.
Afternoon (Recovery, Really): Back at the hotel, feeling delicate after a rough morning. Went back to the pool to try and ignore the slightly queasy feeling in my stomach.
Evening (Pizza Party and Early Night): Pizza. Just the pizza. Simple, effective, and finally, something I wouldn't regret. Then, a very early night.
Day 5: Obsession With the Pool
Morning (Poolside Bliss): No, seriously… I became obsessed with the pool. I spent the entire morning in the pool. Reading. Floating. Doing nothing. The sun felt good. The water was soothing. This was, finally, a perfect moment. This is what it's all about. This is why I came.
Afternoon (Burger Bliss): The pool bar served burgers. They weren't gourmet, probably not even particularly good, but right at that moment, they were exactly what I needed.
Evening (More Karaoke?!): Apparently, Karaoke night was again. I watched, bravely, and took a pass. But I did enjoy the sheer madness of it all.
Day 6: The Repeat, the Realization
Morning (More Pool Time): I need to be honest. I spent the whole morning in the pool.
Afternoon (Souvenir Hunt, or Is It?): I went to the market and bought things I didn't need, but I wasn't sure if I wanted them. This trip made me think. And that's exactly what I needed.
Evening (Goodbye Feast): The last dinner. Ate everything I could. The dessert buffet looked at me, daring me to try. I did. No regrets.
Day 7: Farewell and the Long Journey Home
Morning (Packing, Mostly): Packing… always a traumatic experience.
Afternoon (Departure): The bus ride back to the airport. Remembering all the things.
Evening (Home): Exhausted but happy. I'll never look at a buffet the same way again. I'll always remember the dance floor and the seagull and the incredible sheer freedom of just being. And now, I need real food and a long sleep!
Final Thoughts:
This trip wasn't perfect. There were questionable choices, sun burns, and maybe a few too many vodka-fueled memories (or lack thereof). But it was real. It was chaotic, it was messy, and in its own weird way, it was exactly what I needed. Would I go back to the MPM Astoria? Probably not. But would I recommend the experience? Absolutely.
Parisian Paradise: Relais Saint Jacques Hotel Awaits!
MPM Astoria Hotel, Nessebar: The "All-Inclusive" Rollercoaster - Don't Say I Didn't Warn You!
Okay, spill it! Is MPM Astoria secretly a front for a water park that doesn't exist? Because the hype around "all-inclusive" is... well, hyped?
The Room: Was it a dungeon? A penthouse? Or something in between? And WHAT about the air conditioning?
The Pool Scene: Packed? Relaxing? Or a gladiatorial arena for sunbed supremacy?
Is the Location Actually Good for Exploring Nessebar? Isn't it a pain to get anywhere?
Let's talk Entertainment. Were there any shows? And was the entertainment team actually, you know, entertaining?
The Staff: Friendly? Grumpy? Or the type who might secretly be plotting to steal your sunbed?
Okay, the BIG question: Would you go back? Be honest!
Okay, LET'S TALK FOOD IN MORE DETAIL. Specific horror stories? Glorious wins?
