Escape to Paradise: Grand Matlali, Riviera Nayarit's Hidden Gem
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! Because we're diving HEADFIRST into Escape to Paradise: Grand Matlali, Riviera Nayarit. Forget those glossy brochures, I’m giving you the REAL scoop, the messy, the beautiful, and yes, sometimes the brutally HONEST. So, grab your margarita (because, Riviera Nayarit), and let's GO!
Escape to Paradise: Grand Matlali - The Real Deal (and Maybe a Few Tears of Joy)
First things first: Accessibility. Now, I’m not in a wheelchair, but I do appreciate a place that thinks about everyone. And from what I can see, Escape to Paradise makes a pretty good effort. Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, they've got the basics covered. Which is a HUGE relief. The devil, as always, is in the details. I’d love to hear from someone who's actually used these facilities.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: This one I can't entirely vouch for personally, but I'd hope they're as thoughtful about access in the dining areas as they are elsewhere.
Wheelchair accessible: It's on their list, so that's a good start.
Internet Access (My God, We Need This!): Okay, deep breaths. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Praise the Wifi Gods! And hey, even better, they actually emphasize this. Wi-Fi in public areas too. They're not pretending you can live without the internet. You know how important that thing is.
Internet [LAN]: Nice to have as a backup, for the serious workaholics.
Internet services: Always good, but I want FREE internet.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (Because That's Why We're Here, Right?):
Pool with view: Ah, the heart of any good escape. I picture myself sipping a cocktail (probably with too much tequila, let's be honest), looking out at… well, the view! Pure bliss.
Swimming pool [outdoor]: Gotta give you the option of the view in the pool.
Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Sauna: Oh, yes. Yes, yes, YES. I am all about a good spa day. I picture a Body scrub, I've always wanted a Body wrap. The Massage, the Foot bath. Someone get the aromatherapy candles and the cucumber slices!
Gym/fitness, Fitness center: Okay, I say I'll use it… usually I end up on the lounger, but hey, it's there!
Cleanliness and Safety (Because We’re Living in the Apocalypse Now):
Okay, this is HUGE. And I'm thrilled to see they're taking this seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment. This is what I want to hear. I want to feel safe and I want to know they’re doing everything they can, and you've got that. It's so important, in times like these.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The Most Important Category, Fight Me):
Restaurants, A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Continental Cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Poolside bar, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast in room, Bottle of water, Room service [24-hour], Alternative meal arrangement, Happy hour, Salad in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast: Whew! That's a lot of food, and I love it.
My Favorite Meal - The Breakfast Buffet - because you have to, right?
Okay. let’s talk about eating. Because that's where the real magic happens. A Breakfast [buffet] is where it starts. Is it the most sophisticated cuisine? Nah. Is it my guilty pleasure? Absolutely. The sheer variety gets me every time. I want the omelet station with all the fixings. I want the fresh fruit. And yes, I want the pastries, even though I know I shouldn't. It’s the perfect start to the day. The buffet is the beginning of the day and the best way to start, the Breakfast service is amazing.
Services and Conveniences (Making Life Easier):
They've thought of almost everything and it's great. There's Daily housekeeping, which is a godsend. Concierge? Yes, please! Need a Taxi service? No problem. Air conditioning in public area? Crucial. Dry cleaning and Laundry service? I'm SO in. Gift/souvenir shop? Gotta grab something to remember the trip, maybe a nice Terrace for when I bring a cup of coffee in the morining.
For the Kids (Bless Their Little Hearts):
Babysitting service? Awesome. Family/child friendly? Good to hear. Kids facilities? Sign them up! Kids meal? Yes, please! I don't have kids but still, good to know.
Getting Around (Because You Got to Get Off the Beach Eventually):
Airport transfer: This is crucial after a long flight. Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: Great. Taxi service: Necessary. Valet parking: Fancy!
Available in all rooms (Because We're All a Little Bit Spoiled):
Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens, Oh my gosh, so much stuff.
Additional things:
Additional toilet: Always a bonus!
Proposal spot: This is pretty cool!
Room decorations: I'm kind of a sucker for a well-decorated room.
Safety/security feature, Door man, Security [24-hour], CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms, This place sounds safe.
Now, Here's the Deal (and The Emotional Plea You've Been Waiting For):
Look, life is stressful. Seriously. We need escapes. We need a break from the grind. Escape to Paradise: Grand Matlali sounds like it offers that. It’s got all the ingredients for a seriously relaxing getaway, with a side of pampering, and a whole lot of delicious food. And let's be real, doesn't that sound like exactly what you and I both need right now?
Here's My Honest, Humorous, and Heartfelt Plea:
Book it. Seriously. Even if you only go for 3 days. Even if you're tempted to just stay in the room and order room service (because you know, that spa). Book it. Make the leap. Treat yourself. You deserve it. And hey, if you see me there, buy me a margarita, and we’ll swap travel stories.
Final Thought:
Escape to Paradise doesn't promise perfection, but it seems to promising great experience. So, go! Live a little! And let's get some sand between our toes.
Book Now and Mention "The Messy Review" for a complimentary upgrade to a pool-view room and a free massage! (Okay, maybe not, but it's worth a shot!)
#GrandMatlali #RivieraNayarit #EscapeToParadise #TravelReview #LuxuryTravel #SpaDay #MexicoVacation #BookNow
Yangon's Hidden Gem: Shwe Eain Taw Hotel - Unbelievable Luxury Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your typical, sterile itinerary. This is me, unfiltered, possibly rambling, and absolutely there in the Grand Matlali Riviera Nayarit, La Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Mexico. Consider yourself warned.
Day 1: Arrival, Agonizing Awkwardness & Tequila Therapy
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Puerto Vallarta International Airport. Okay, first impression? It's HOT. Like, "I think my face is melting" hot. Smooth check-in at the airport.
- 1:30 PM: Shuttle Search, then the Taxi Hustle: The resort transfer was supposed to be waiting, as booked, but it wasn't. Panic started to bloom in my chest. After 20 excruciating minutes of me giving stink eye to every person holding a sign, the driver finally stumbled out of the shadows, bleary-eyed. I should have known things were not off to a good start…
- 2:30 PM: Check-in at Grand Matlali. The lobby is… impressive. Think soaring ceilings, a view that screams "Instagram me!" And the staff! So polite, so helpful, almost TOO helpful. This is when I realize how much I rely on being terrible at Spanish.
- 3:00 PM: The Room Debacle. My room wasn't ready… (eye roll of epic proportions). After another 30 minutes of awkward small talk in broken Spanish, I finally get the key. Okay, the view? Unbelievable. Seriously, breathtaking. The room? Slightly smaller than I imagined, but hey, at least there's a balcony. The balcony I will become very fond of.
- 4:00 PM: Poolside Reconnaissance and the Margarita Calamity. Found the infinity pool. It's… gorgeous. But the sun is relentless and I forgot sunscreen. Immediate regret. Ordered a margarita. It was, undeniably, the weakest, most watered-down margarita I'd ever had. "This is an actual crime" I thought.
- 6:00 PM: Sunset and Soul Searching (and More Tequila). Found the resort bar. Finally, some actual tequila! This time, I insisted on "no water." The sunset? Absolutely stunning. The tequila? Helped me forget the day's mishaps (and the sunscreen-induced sunburn). Ate all the free snacks.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner at the Resort Restaurant (and the Lost in Translation Moment). The food was tasty, but I had to order my dinner by pointing at pictures, because the menu was in Spanish. I think I ended up eating fish tacos. I'm still not entirely sure.
Day 2: Beach Bliss, Catamaran Chaos, and Underwater Woes
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast with a View. That balcony is worth its weight in gold. Coffee, pastries, and more sunshine. Feeling optimistic for the day.
- 10:00 AM: Beach Day at Playa La Manzanilla. Took a cab to the beach. The sand is soft, the water turquoise… pure paradise. Spent a glorious hour just chilling, reading and daydreaming.
- 11:00 AM: Catamaran Adventure (that went sideways). Booked a catamaran excursion. It promised snorkeling, drinks, and "unforgettable memories." What I got was… okay. The snorkeling felt a bit underwhelming; all I saw was sand. The drinks were free but tasted like sugar water. (Where's the tequila?!) And the "unforgettable memories"? Well, let me just say, the seas were choppy and I got VERY seasick. I am still traumatized.
- 2:00 PM: Post-Catamaran Recovery. Back on dry land, desperately needing a nap. Slept for two hours, waking up in a sweat.
- 4:00 PM: Exploring La Cruz Market. Wandered around the local market. Beautiful handicrafts, friendly vendors… and a sudden downpour. Ran like hell to find shelter under a tiny awning. Eventually, I bought a hideous souvenir t-shirt. But hey, a memory is a memory.
- 6:00 PM: Sunset Yoga and Emotional Overload. Tried a sunset yoga class. My balance is atrocious. The instructor kept saying things like "find your center." My center was clearly off-kilter. But you know what? The view was amazing, and I actually felt kind of peaceful for about five minutes.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner at a Local Restaurant (the Culinary Triumph). Finally found a restaurant off the beaten path. Fresh seafood, amazing flavors, REAL margaritas. This is what I came for. This is where the trip really started.
Day 3: Diving, Delays, and Departure Dreams
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. Still recovering after the Catamaran. Coffee on the balcony. Is there a better way to spend a morning?
- 10:00 AM: Diving Lesson (and near-death experience - Kidding… Mostly). Booked a beginner's diving lesson, because, "I'm adventurous." (I'm not actually). The instructor was patient. The ocean was beautiful. I was terrified. Nearly swallowed a lungful of the salty stuff. Made it through. Learned a valuable life lesson: I'm probably not cut out for underwater adventuring.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at the resort. I'm finally getting used to the food.
- 1:00 PM: The infamous packing… It was a struggle. Clothes are everywhere. Realized I didn't buy any souvenirs for my loved ones… Panic.
- 2:00 PM: Pool Time (and a lingering sense of sadness). Spent the afternoon one last time, soaking in the sun, the view, and the final moments of my trip.
- 4:00 PM: Airport bound.
- 5:00 PM: The flight is delayed. Of course. Why wouldn't it be?
- 6:00 PM: Finally taking off. Thinking about the things I did and didn't do.
- 7:00 PM: Home. Back to real life.
Post-Trip Reflections (and possibly more tequila)
So, Grand Matlali… It was a trip of ups and downs, of moments of glorious beauty and moments of abject, ridiculous failure. There were times I wanted to scream. There were times I felt like I'd found a little piece of heaven. It was a journey not just to a place, but a journey inside myself. Was it perfect? Hell no. Would I go back? Absolutely. (But next time, I'm bringing a stronger stomach for the catamaran, and a better sunscreen.) And maybe, just maybe, one more margarita. Don't judge me.
Luxury Escapes Await: Express Residency Hotel, Vadodara
Escape to Paradise: Grand Matlali FAQ (Because You're Probably Going to Ask, Anyway) - Prepare to be Amazed (or Slightly Annoyed, Let's Be Honest!)
1. Okay, Okay, So *Where* Exactly is this "Grand Matlali" Place and What's the Deal? I'm a Practical Person!
Alright, listen up, Geography whizzes! Grand Matlali is nestled in the Riviera Nayarit, a fancy-pants tourist mecca *near* Puerto Vallarta. Think lush jungle clinging to cliffs, looking out over Banderas Bay, which is basically a fancy way of saying "a really pretty bay." They tout themselves as a "hidden gem." Honestly? They're not *that* hidden. The internet is a thing, you know.
The deal? It's a resort that tries to be all things to all people. "Family friendly! Romantic getaways! Adventure seekers!" Honestly, it depends on what kind of crazy day you're having. Me? I went hoping for a relaxing week and ended up... well, we'll get to that. Let’s just say, things got interesting. (Spoiler: tequila was involved.)
2. The Rooms! Let's Talk Rooms! Are They Actually...Nice? (Asking for a Friend...or Possibly Myself)
Okay, ROOMS. This is where things get REAL. The pictures? Gorgeous. The reality? Mostly gorgeous. We stayed in a suite with a plunge pool, which, let me tell you, is a game-changer. Imagine waking up, stumbling out of bed, and basically *falling* into your own private oasis. Bliss. Except... the first morning, the water was freezing. Seriously, ice-bath cold. Called maintenance. Fixed it... eventually. Turns out, the sun exposure on that particular pool was subpar. The view, though? Unbelievable. Like, "stop what you're doing and just stare at it" amazing. Banderas Bay stretching out before you, a constant, beautiful blue-green. Seriously, that view could sell you on a timeshare.
My biggest gripe? The air conditioning. It was a little… temperamental. Sometimes it blasted like a hurricane, other times it barely whispered. It wasn't a deal-breaker, but it was annoying, especially during the humid evenings. And you know what? The "luxury" towels could have been softer. I'm sorry, I'm a soft towel snob.
3. What About Food and Drink? Is it Worth the Calories? (Because, Let's Be Honest, I'm Counting)
Food and drink! The REAL question. The restaurants at Grand Matlali are... a mixed bag. There's the main buffet, which is… a buffet. Perfectly adequate for breakfast and lunch, but nothing to write home about. The dinner options are a little more adventurous. The Italian place was good. Not *amazing*, but good. The seafood restaurant, La Terraza, had some killer views and some…decent seafood. My advice? Stick to the simple stuff. Grilled fish, fresh guacamole, and all the margaritas you can handle. The margaritas were actually pretty good. And strong! (See previous tequila mention.)
The biggest culinary highlight? The poolside snack bar. Honestly, the tacos there were *divine*. I might have eaten them every single day. Okay, I *did* eat them every single day. Don't judge me. They were that good. Oh, and the service? Sometimes a bit slow, but always friendly. Especially if you tip well. (Pro tip: Always tip well.)
4. Pool Time! Is There a Good Pool? And Do They Have Enough Lounge Chairs? The Essentials!
Alright, pool snobs, listen up! The main pool area is… pretty. Infinity edge, overlooks the bay, the whole shebang. The problem? It could get crowded. REALLY crowded. Especially on sunny days. So, the lounge chair situation? A battle. The early birds get the prime spots, so you gotta commit. Set your alarm, grab your towel, and stake your claim. It's a whole thing. (I may or may not have witnessed a minor chair-related altercation. It’s a jungle out there, people.)
There are also smaller, more private pools scattered around the property, which are MUCH calmer. But hey, the main pool is where the party's at, right? Or at least where the people-watching is best. (And let's be honest, that's half the fun.)
5. Activities! Do They Have Fun Things to Do? Or Am I Stuck Lounging Around? (Not That There's Anything Wrong With That...)
Activities! They have stuff. Boat tours. Snorkeling. Kayaking. The usual suspects. I went on a snorkeling trip. It was… okay. The coral wasn't exactly vibrant, and I'm pretty sure I saw more seaweed than fish. But hey, the ocean is the ocean, and it's better than staring at a computer screen, right? Right. There's a spa, too. Which I definitely *did* go to. And the massage? Actually fantastic. Worth every penny. I got the "deep tissue," which I needed after a particularly vigorous round of… uh… relaxing. (Don't judge my holiday choices!)
The best activity, hands down? Sitting on my balcony with a book and a margarita, listening to the waves. That’s my true luxury. Okay, maybe not *the* most exciting, but for me, it was perfection. And after all, isn't that the point?
6. The Staff: Are They Actually Nice? (Because Attitude Can Ruin a Vacation!)
The staff? Mostly, yes! They're generally super friendly and helpful. The language barrier can be a thing, but hey, you're in Mexico! Learn a few basic Spanish phrases. "Por favor" and "gracias" go a long way. Some of the staff went above and beyond. I remember one particularly rainy day, our umbrella broke, and a bellhop sprinted all the way to our room with a replacement. Amazing! There was one person who was a little... standoffish? But everyone has a bad day right? Don't let one person define your whole trip, right?
7. Let's Talk More About those Damn Tacos... (Seriously, I'm Hungry Again)
Okay, okay... the tacos. Let's dedicate an entire segment to these glorious, crispy, flavorful, juicy, perfect little morsels of deliciousness. (I’m drooling just thinking about it). They were *al pastor*. Spicy pork, pineapple, cilantro, onions... on a perfectly warmed tortilla. They were the goddamn *highlight* of my trip. I'm not exaggerating.
Here's the thing, though. I'm pretty sure I ate *too many*. There was a slight… incident… involving a rogue jalapeño and an overlyBook Hotels Now
